We keep things structured and orderly so as not to get lost in what can seem like the overwhelming chore of life change. What situations make you wish you were more confident? 4) if you’re struggling, tell us and how we can help. Don’t let someone else say “Oh don’t start over” or “You have to start over.” This is about learning to be true to yourself, to be honest. The thought that you’re not being true to yourself will eat at you more than starting the count again. It’s about rewarding yourself for NC time and showing others it can be done. It’s a big, important topic which is why it’s the first chapter in the book. Standard poker chips are fine but the gold ones can be a nice round gold piece from a jewelry store or buy a chain with a nice round gold pendant. Due to the on-going issues with registration and Word Press, I will post some new posts here on occasion, but will publish new articles mainly on Psychology Today. We have a very active and supportive group on Facebook and have moved discussion/support to the Facebook group at
The following is broken down more in the workbook, but this is a reminder of how to use the books and the workbook. They don’t work well if you don’t figure out how to not only use your tools but to use them. And please don’t tell anyone they do or do not have to start their count over. Even if you work with, have children with, mutual friends with, live in a small community with, NC is possible in that you only speak when you have to, you don’t get into emotional issues, everything is very business like. If you have a child, you are NC if you speak with your ex ONLY when necessary and the conversation is BRIEF and BUSINESS LIKE and you KEEP GOOD BOUNDARIES!!! I have tried to code the colors best I can but they show up differently on different devices. If you’ve been a NC you definitely deserve something nice. And TELL US what you did or bought or how you celebrated! Facebook.com/groups/Getting Past Your Breakup Please join us there!
There are two downloadable files for you…is all the GPYB articles on FB and one is all the You Tube videos…articles have links and descriptions. I am making a series of videos for the GPYB and GBOT books. What is it that will show TO YOU that you are gaining confidence? Write letters to people who hurt you or put you down or made you feel worthless or question your ability. Keep journaling, visualizing, affirming and doing the work of getting to the bottom of it. _________________ Order the workbook HERE People who thought they knew best drove me crazy when I was trying to be a victimized know nothing powerless whiny whining pants.
If you have any issues or questions that the books don’t cover, and you don’t want to join the FB group, please send your thoughts and questions to gpybgbotvideo at gmail dot com That’s GPYB plus GBOT plus Video AT Gmail DOT com GPYB blog has been in existence since 2007. Do something that TO YOU says “I AM CONFIDENT” You may be afraid but DO IT ANYWAY. Do this at least once a week and try to go for bigger every week. Get mad, get sad, get anything you need to feel but remember the GPYP rule: always wrap up your “closure” communications on a positive note. They kept making it sound like I had some CONTROL over what happened to me. Continue reading There were questions in comments about reconciliations. I find that there is a small percentage of couples who can successfully reconcile.
Continue reading Back in the days of GPYP seminars, we worked on breaking down goals and the action steps to get there into small, manageable bits. What feelings from the past come up when you’re under stress? It’s a big deal and needs to be treated like a big deal. 3) if you’ve been maintaining a good stretch of NC but fell short in the past, write about your struggles and how you overcame them. Don’t set yourself up by counting NC time when you are not NC. It’s about knowing you have control over your life and your impulses. I would also suggest, in the way of being good to you, to BUY yourself an actual chip, a real chip and keep it on your dresser/bureau or some other prominent place as a reminder of how WELL you are doing.My experience on both sides of the therapy table had led me to believe that in order to be successful, work must be balanced. Visualize a person who is more confident than you are now. If you’re not counting time any more, please share that too!You can’t remain in the painful past for a great length of time without coming up for air, doing positive affirmations and working on your confidence. Remember what we talk about in GPYP seminars about visualizations. When did you stop needing to know “how long it’s been.” Thanks all and congrats to those picking up chips. NC time is important because it shows us that we do have power and control over what we do and how it affects us.In every instance, it seems that codependency was running the show.I remember when I was early in codependency recovery, a cousin-in-law’s brother killed himself after a breakup.If you want a document with links and descriptions of all the You Tube videos go HERE Go here to sign up: coming off a breakup and not yet ready to date but who need to RESHAPE the tone and tenor of their relationships 2. Because I have worked, FOR MANY YEARS, with all of the above.