I’m not judging – I can see how easy it is to get into that situation.
Earlier this year, The New York Times published an article called “The End of Courtship?
That's because asking someone out involves potential pain. Worst of all, you engage in the most banal and abysmal of non-dates-going to coffee.
If the object of your affection becomes aware of your intentions, he or she might not reciprocate, and that's going to hurt. Instead of asking someone out on a date and being bold in their intentions, they turn to the soggy milquetoast alternative to dating: "hanging out."Here's how it works: you like someone but you're afraid to let him or her know. It has the trappings of a date—a cozy ambiance, comforting beverages, atmospheric music—while allowing everyone involved to disavow the actual occurrence of a date.
These things might worry you, but something else makes your palms sweat and your pulse hit triple digits: asking someone out on a date.
“I’ve never willingly called any of the women I’ve been out with my girlfriends – even the ones I’ve lived with.
I always have to be really pushed into making it more serious – but that’s just the way I am, it’s nothing personal.” I’m not sure I buy this – how would his (lucky, lucky) girlfriend feel if she heard him saying, outright, that he hadn’t been too fussed about her when they got together, and that they’re only together now because of her tenacity?
The thing is, you can make any excuse you like when you really fancy, or even love someone.
“They’re still getting over their ex,” “they just need more time,” or (ugh) “they’re scared of commitment,” but the fact is when someone meets the right person, they can’t propose marriage, or a joint rental agreement quick enough.
A survey carried out last year by dating website ‘Seeking Arrangements’ found that most couples tend to say ‘I love you’ after 14 dates – or seven weeks (the average number of dates per week was two).